Yesterday’s wee meltdown

I just want to say a huge THANKS to everyone who was so sweet and supportive during my panic attack, or whatever I should call it, yesterday at the end of the day.

I don’t make any secret of the fact that I’ve been taking medication to set my brain chemicals right for a long time now… close to ten years, I think. And when I take them they work REALLY well, until recently. Over the last few months its gotten to the point where they don’t help anywhere near as much, and I have trouble coping with things outside of my set schedule at work. I ran out of what I was taking, and I FINALLY get to see my doctor on Friday (three week wait!) to talk about it and see if we can get things sorted out for me again.

Anxiety and a fear of people are the two biggest ways that this manifests itself, so you can imagine that last night was definitely a big combination of the two.

Two things are keeping me sane lately. One is my job - dealing with people one-on-one in a structured environment helps me IMMENSELY, and in that situation I actually LOVE being around people. So I’m super lucky to work in an environment where I deal with people.

Number two is music. Lately, music has been able to bring me out of the biggest funk, no matter how bad off I am, and that’s part of why I’m sharing so much of it with you lately. I’ll be collecting all of my posted songs in a playlist every day, so you can always check here at tumblr to see what I’ve been listening to, if you’re interested.

So again, thanks and much love, to those who understand, or even those who don’t but still tried to help make me feel better.